Tag Archive for: stress

Holiday Planning that Makes Room for Autism

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A Parent’s Perspective: No more holiday stress

The holiday season is supposed to be a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. However, for parents and caregivers of children with autism, it can also bring unique challenges as well as full-on stress. I think the pressures of the holiday season make special needs parenting ten times harder than the rest of the year. 

The sensory overload, crowded gatherings, and disruptions to routines can make this time of year incredibly overwhelming for your child and yourself. At ABA Connect, we want every child and their family to enjoy the festivities while considering the specific needs of individuals on the autism spectrum. As a parent, I know this is easier said than done. In this blog, we’ll explore a few proactive tips to help your holiday season go smoothly.

holiday stress autism

Sensory Challenges and Solutions

Preparing for Loud Music and Flashing Lights

The bright lights and blaring music that often accompany holiday events can be overwhelming for children with autism. To help your child navigate these sensory situations, it’s essential to have strategies in place. By now, you probably understand your child’s unique sensitivities well. 

Pack sensory tools such as:

  • Headphones
  • Sunglasses
  • Comfort Items
  • Essential Oils
  • Weighted Blanket or Vest

An occupational therapist may develop a personalized sensory diet for your child, but Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) techniques can also help. 

ABA Connect offers individualized strategies to help children cope and enjoy stimulating environments. By gradually exposing your child to sensory stimuli in a controlled manner, they can build tolerance over time. For example, start playing soft holiday music at home before gradually increasing the volume. Or, let your child be in charge of turning on holiday lights at home. 

Setting Clear Expectations for Large Family Gatherings

Crowded family events during the holidays can be challenging for children with autism who struggle with social interactions or feel uncomfortable around unfamiliar faces. 

Setting expectations is key:

  • Decide on an arrival and departure time
  • Brainstorm topics to talk about or avoid talking about
  • Give your child a list, or pictures, of people who will be at the gathering
  • Create a visual schedule of events
  • Take a break

ABA Connect recognizes the importance of social skill development and aims to make family gatherings a positive experience. Our therapists work closely with families to create plans that address specific social challenges. Through targeted interventions, such as role-playing or visual supports, we help children develop appropriate social behaviors and engage meaningfully with relatives during these special occasions and all year long.

Traveling with Ease

Making Traveling Smoother

Traveling itself can pose unique difficulties for individuals on the autism spectrum due to changes in routine and unfamiliar environments. Similar to how you help your child with sensory overload, you can implement some of the same techniques with travel, such as headphones, snacks, and favorite toys. By using visual schedules, social stories, and other ABA techniques, we can help prepare your child for the journey ahead. These tools assist in reducing anxiety and increasing predictability by providing step-by-step guidance about what to expect during the trip.

As a parent, I allow my child large amounts of screen time on road trips. A tablet, video games, or a movie playing in the car or airplane is an excellent way to pass the time. Having the technology to support children during travel is a gift to your child and the rest of the family members traveling with you!

Holiday Meals and Picky Eating

Tips on Picky Eating During Holiday Meals

Holiday meals can be filled with a wide variety of dishes, but for children with autism who struggle with selective eating or sensory sensitivities, navigating these gatherings can be challenging. At ABA Connect, we address feeding issues head-on and promote a positive relationship with food.

Our team of therapists employs evidence-based techniques to gradually expand your child’s food preferences. By introducing new foods in a non-threatening manner and utilizing reinforcement strategies, we work towards expanding their diet and ensuring they can participate fully in holiday meals.

Foods to avoid or replace with a healthier option:

  • Candy
  • Sweets and sugar
  • Artificial colors or flavors
  • Caffeine
  • Gluten (if your child is gluten-free)
  • Dairy (if your child is lactose intolerant)

Plan around holiday foods you know will affect your child’s behavior or mood as much as possible. Holiday treats can cause inflammation or constipation, something many of our kids struggle with on an ongoing basis. Eat clean, especially if your child has food sensitivities or allergies that prevent them from indulging in holiday treats, and plan to offer alternatives you know they enjoy

Sensory Tips for Classic Holiday Traditions

Enjoying Holiday Traditions with Sensory Tips

Classic holiday activities like decorating the tree, wrapping presents, and opening presents can present sensory challenges for individuals on the autism spectrum. However, with the right strategies, these traditions can become enjoyable experiences for everyone involved.

To make these activities more sensory-friendly, consider breaking them down into smaller steps and providing visual supports such as checklists or social stories. ABA Connect offers tailored approaches that account for individual differences while ensuring each child can engage in these beloved traditions.

Advocating for Your Child During the Holidays

One of the most challenging things for me as a parent around the holiday is promoting understanding of autism to my family and friends. Unless I explain it to them, they don’t know how difficult traditional holiday parties, foods, and stimuli can be for my child and me. It isn’t easy to talk about autism, but choosing to do so can make a difference in your overall experience of the season. Sometimes, tension can arise when a family member offers unsolicited advice. Have you ever noticed people who don’t understand autism are often all too willing to provide advice on how to raise your child? 

Dealing with Unwanted Advice from Family and Friends

Be Honest

First, thank your friend or family member for trying to help. Then, state you aren’t looking for parenting advice. If the person seems receptive, use it as an opportunity to educate them on autism and why your child behaves the way they do. Education is advocacy!

Use Humor

Cracking a joke, no matter how sarcastic can help ease the tension you feel when family members are not accepting of your child’s behaviors. 

Take a Break

Explain to friends and family that your child sometimes needs to take a break or move away from too much activity. Be sure to say it’s nothing anyone did; it’s just the nature of autism to sometimes need to retreat. And hey, if you need a minute, take one for yourself, too!

Let it Go

Sometimes, none of these suggestions work at the moment. If it comes to that, smile and let it go. You can move on with your plans. Or, you may need to go home. 

Develop a Secret Signal 

It’s always good to have an escape plan. You can develop a secret signal with your child or partner if you need to transition from a situation. Your secret signal can be a nod, head scratch, or code words. As soon as you see or hear it, respond immediately. 

Deck the Halls with Understanding

The holiday season should be a time of joy and celebration for all families, including those affected by autism. At ABA Connect, our commitment is to empower children on the spectrum and their caregivers by providing personalized support that makes room for autism during this festive time.

By addressing sensory challenges, facilitating smooth travel experiences, tackling picky eating concerns, and offering sensory tips for classic holiday traditions, we hope you can create memorable moments that are enjoyable for your whole family. With ABA Connect by your side, you can confidently navigate the holiday season, knowing your child’s needs are understood and respected.

Remember, each child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. We encourage you to share your experiences and tips in the comments below. Let’s make this holiday season a truly special time of joy and celebration for children with autism.

If you found this post helpful, please like, share, and follow for more content on autism or ABA therapy.

If you are interested in a positive, play-based approach to ABA, contact ABA Connect.

 

Please note that while I am a consultant writing on behalf of ABA Connect, my child is not a current client. The views and experiences shared in this blog post are entirely from a parent’s perspective. I aim to provide informative content and insights based on my personal experiences as well as interviews conducted with the staff at ABA Connect.

References:

https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/tips-for-autism-thanksgiving/?utm_content=buffer8f180&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer&fbclid=IwAR21vvW3BASj_sn6ZLr6d8R-Y_OgfcDWZEVyor5DWB_C6boFALBzXmoVXFs

https://www.brainbalancecenters.com/blog/holiday-party-guide-children-struggle-socially

Stress Reduction for Parents of Children with ASD

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Your well-being as a parent of a child with ASD is critical to your child’s functioning. I have listed some simple stress reduction strategies to help improve your emotional well-being as a parent of a child with ASD.

Social Support

Connecting with friends, family and others in the ASD community is a simple stress reduction activity. When you connect with others, it reduces loneliness and helps you feel supported. If you connect with other parents in the ASD community it can allow you to share triumphs as well as discuss challenges with others who have shared experiences. For social support within the ASD community, check out ABA Connect’s Facebook page and the Autism Society of Central Texas Calendar. Both of these sites are updated regularly and are full of events just for you!  Also, reference our Resources page to find organizations who design programs for persons with ASD and their families.

Schedule Time To Be “Mindful”

Take some time each day to focus on the present through a practice called mindfulness. Resist the urge to think about your child’s therapies, what’s for dinner, or anything else competing for your attention. Take some time, even if it is 10 minutes, just for you. Sit with your thoughts without judging them and focus on your surroundings, feelings, and any sensations you may feel without trying to change them. Mindfulness can include meditation or it can just be a specific focus on what you are doing in the moment. To learn more about mindfulness and how it promotes well-being and reduces stress, see the University of Berkeley Greater Good Science Center website. 

Delight In Your Child

Parent optimism has been associated with stress reduction, better parenting, and positive well-being. That does not mean parents walk around with rose-colored glasses. But, an increased focus on your child’s positive qualities and strengths can increase hope and optimism. Think of a cute thing your child did, a tender touch, or anything your child does that makes your heart melt. Reflect on those moments to boost your mood. If these moments do not readily come to mind, start today by looking out for things that make you smile about your child. One mother did this through an Autism Speaks blog that outlines five of her child’s personal gifts.

Foster Gratitude

Research in positive psychology shows that regular gratitude can improve happiness and life satisfaction. One way to do this is to write down three things that went well during the day before going to bed. You may start by doing this for just a week or you may try practicing it consistently. Once you develop the well-being habit of noticing the small things that go well during your day, it can increase positive feelings and decrease stress.

Ask For Help When Needed

Know if you are experiencing “caregiver fatigue.”  Caregiver fatigue can interfere with your ability to enjoy your child and engage in positive interactions.  Respite care for your child or help from family and friends can decrease stress and enhance caregiver well-being. If you feel you need additional help, consider joining a parent group led by someone experienced in children with developmental disabilities or consider individual therapy. HelpGuide.org offers good information about the signs of caregiver burnout and caregiver fatigue.

If you feel you need professional assistance, consider contacting our separate, but affiliated practice, ApaCenter. ApaCenter offers therapy and consultations for individuals, parents, and couples who want to improve their emotional and relational well-being.

A Powerful Strategy to Improve Behavior Problems

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All kids present with behavior problems periodically – and some of those can really get under our skin over time. However, as parents and teachers, we don’t always address these challenging behaviors in the most effective ways. Often, we end up telling our kids to “stop it” or threatening them with various punitive measures if they don’t. “David, if you don’t stop yelling, you are going to lose video game time!” Um, we might even be yelling at David to stop yelling – not a good example for little David!

As I discussed in my first blog, the relationship is key to kids being receptive to feedback, limits, and even praise. If we have a strong relationship with our kids, they are much more likely to be receptive to what we say and respond positively. So, it is critical to always be reaching out to our kids to try to spend positive time with them to build the relationship.

Now, when our kids do act out or present with challenges, it can be very important to intervene and redirect. But no one likes to be reprimanded for misbehavior, right? Think back to when you were a kid – even when we did misbehave, it didn’t feel good to be reprimanded. How about when our spouse or significant other calls us out for something they don’t like – often that is difficult feedback to take without becoming defensive.

An Alternative to Correcting Misbehavior

Whatever behavior that keeps occurring that you find most frustrating, what is its behavioral opposite? What is it that you want to see? For instance, in the case of little David, if he yells a lot at his sibling, using an inside voice is what we want to hear. If David happens to be in another room with his sibling, we are probably hoping to hear nothing at all! Now, instead of waiting for David to yell…so then we can tell him to stop yelling…listen for his use of an inside voice…particularly in the situations in which he struggles the most.

So, if David his playing with his sibling, William, without any “drama” for a bit, we should be mindful of this and let him know. We could poke our head in the room and say, “David and William, I notice that ya’ll have been playing quietly with one another. I didn’t hear you at all in the other room! I really appreciate how you have been using inside voices.”

This is one version of “catch them for being good.” When I used to work at treatment programs for behaviorally-challenged kids, we would call this “competitive positive behavior.” Sometimes we would give verbal praise to all the kids who were behaving properly before giving a prompt to the child who wasn’t following the rules. For instance, if the direction was to walk in a line behind us, and Jeffrey was out of line clowning around, we might say, “I like the way Aiden, Harrison, Britney, and Jack are walking in a straight line.” Usually, this would be enough of a prompt for Jeffrey to go back in line. At this point we would quickly say something like, “Jeffrey, I really like the way you got back into line! Thanks for listening and following our line rules!”

The Benefits of Praising Competitive Positive Behavior

Here are just a few of the benefits of praising competitive positive behavior:

  1. It feels better to kids to be praised for positive behavior than to be reprimanded for misbehavior.
  2. It is pro-active. We aren’t playing the waiting game to pounce on our kid’s misbehavior.
  3. It is more specific. Telling kids what we don’t want to see doesn’t necessarily tell them what we do want to see.
  4. It serves as a gentle reminder for the behavior we want to see. In the previous example, little David is now more aware of his use of an inside voice. He’s less likely to start yelling because we just praised him…which serves as a reminder…to use an inside voice.

As with anything else, we get better at what we practice. If we practice praising competitive positive behaviors, we will get better at catching them when they happen. Like anything in life, this doesn’t always work. But I can guarantee you that it works at least some of the time – probably a lot of time. With consistent use of this approach, we save both kiddos and ourselves a lot of headaches, frustration, stress, and hurt feelings. Give it a try!